7 Books that Changed my Life

Why Reading is Essential

In my opinion, reading is the single most important skill/activity that a person can have. Especially for kids and young adults, reading opens up a world of possibilities to learn new things, learn from the experiences of others, and to practice creativity. Essentially, it is like the equivalent of endurance sports for the mind! The more you read (and think deeply about a book’s content), the more you sharpen your thinking. Naturally, you will widen your horizon automatically. By the way, the second most important activity for sharpen you thinking is probably writing 😉

In the following, I present seven non-fiction books that influenced me positively, including a small summary for each one and a short discussion about the lessons it taught me. This is not necessarily a list of the ten most influential books of my life (I would have to think about such a list a bit more carefully ;)), but these are books I primarily read in the last couple of years. The impact is therefore a bit more recent 🙂

Short disclaimer: contrary to common belief, I think good fiction books are equally important to non-fiction books. While non-fiction books will teach you skills, lessons, or present interesting ideas/life perspective, fiction books will typically let you connect to interesting characters. Understanding or recognizing their motives, flaws, emotional behavior, etc. will give you a different kind of perspective on the human psyche and sharpen your intuition. A skill that non-fiction books can hardly give you. Reading books for pure entertainment and getting lost in story telling is also very relaxing.

#1 Man’s Search for Meaning

Although a quick read, everybody on planet can learn a ton from this book. Originally published in 1946 by the Viennese psychiatrist Victor Frankl, this book describes his experiences as prisoner in multiple concentration camps during WWII. His perspective as a psychiatrist allowed him to face the horrors of the Holocaust in a unique way and develop unbelievable resilience.

At the core of his belief system, Frankl resorts to Nietsche’s famous quote (I am sure you heard it somewhere):

He, who has a Why to live for, can bear with almost any How.

Twilight of the Idols (german: Die Götzen-Dämmerung)

As for meaning, Frankl mentions three potential sources:

• Doing something significant in your work. Doctors are prime examples, as their goal is to heal others and affect their lifes positively. It is important, though, that each individual decides what he declares as ‘significant’.
• Caring for another person. Love itself can give you meaning.
• Finally, courage in suffering. This is the most interesting one for sure. Frankl supports the position that our task as human beings is to take on the battles we encounter (even if it means huge suffering) and to try finding the answers instead of giving up. This philosophy of life turns hopeless situations into hopeful ones and gives us back the control we need. Suffering itself is meaningless, but by the way we respond to it gives suffering meaning.

Lessons Learned: The main lesson I learned is that there may exist indeed meaning in suffering and my task is to search for such meaning. There is no point in losing hope and giving up; there is always either something to learn or to grow from experience.

Although not comparable to Frankls horrific situation during WWII, I recently lost my grandmother at age 98, who was very dear to me. Of course, it has given me a lot of grief and I took my time. But… I look back at her legacy and I am very proud of her and the life she lived. My grandmother was the nicest person imaginable and always cared about her community.

Lesson #1: You can always choose your attitude in any given set of circumstances. This is something that cannot be taken away and is under your control.

Lesson #2: You can find meaning in anything. Choose one path initially and stick with it. This will open new possibilities and, maybe, you will find multiple sources of meaning.

#2 Can’t Hurt me

David Goggins is one of the toughest man alive. He inspired the world by showing an enormous transformation from bad childhood and adolescence (physical and emotional abuse) to one of the greatest endurance athletes of our time.

I first heard about him in Tom Bilyeu’s show (back then it was called inside quest), which was one of the best conversations I witnessed on YouTube. I highly recommend the episode to get some understanding of where Goggins comes from (watch here).

“Can’t hurt me” is his story, the story of David Goggins, who once was overweight and mentally broken, but eventually became a record-breaking endurance athlete. He once hold the record for the most pull-ups in 24 hours and through his public persona (though he claims to be a major introvert) became an inspiration to many people.

Lessons Learned: The overall theme is: Don’t get butt hurt, keep being focused, and grind. Goggins embodies this mentality to the core. While suffering from a learning disability, he reports on simply buying a ton of spiral notebooks, in which he writes stuff he wants to memorize over and over again, until he is no longer able to forget it. There are many key lessons in his book, so I will focus on three connected takeaways that are easy to apply in your daily life.

Lesson #3: When you are about to quit, stay the course und push a bit further each time. This is callousing your mind, as Goggins like to call it. Its practicing your mind to endure more.

Lesson #4: Life is full of hardships and will often be unfair. Stick with it and still keep pushing. Don’t ask “why me?”. The grind is what matters in the long run. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.

Lesson #5: When your mind is telling you that it cannot go any further and you are about to get this feeling that the current situation is unbearable anymore, this is probably close to 40% of your true potential. You reach the remaining 60% by shutting up your inner voice and endure some pain.

#3 The Courage to be Disliked

Two of the most well known and dominating figures of 19th century psychoanalysis are Sigmund Freud and Carl Jung. Although lesser known, Alfred Adler is arguably the third most influential person in this area, and founded the school of individual psychology. Freud and Adler worked close together as colleagues before starting to dislike each other; Freud had the bigger influence, but Adler maintained his original ideas which often diverged from Freud’s (not to Freud’s liking).

The school of individual psychology emphasizes a holistic view on one’s character including one’s inner purpose and meaning of life.

The Courage to be Disliked, written by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga, is a masterpiece! The book portraits a young unhappy man, who visits a wise philosopher in order to treat his unhappiness. The book is divided into five conversations, which the young man needs to finally let loose of his stubbornness and accept a different (more happy way) to live life. The book conveys Adler’s ideas brilliantly by choosing the Socratic Method as a matter of style.

Lessons Learned: The book presents Adlerian psychology in a very interesting and effective way. I didn’t know anything about it before but I must admit that it changed my persepctive on life, happiness, and what fulfillment really means. Following Adler’s analysis, trauma is a construct (something that is not fixed in contrast to Freudian psychology). Today, we know that trauma is real, but I still think there is a lot of value in this thinking; we use the word trauma too lightly! Most of the time, we are just a little scared of something and need to push through. Although the underlying theme is individual psychology, the conclusion is rather wholesome; the meaning of life according to Adler is to serve the community. I like that idea very much.

Lesson #6: Your past does not determine your future. Even if bad experiences were formed in your childhood, you can change them now, in the present!

#4 The Longevity Diet: Slow Aging, Fight Disease, Optimize Weight

Recently, I wondered what the current state-of-the-art science is on longevity when I discovered this book. Valter Longo is a Professor and director of the Longevity Institute at the University of Southern California. He argues that the way we eat has one of the greatest influence on how long we live (easily past 100 if done right). Not only that, but the goal is to get older while staying healthy (!).

What is the key idea here? Well, scientifically, this book was eye-opening to me. I thought that I had a thorough grasp on nutrition, but the human body is just fascinating. The common advice of focusing on high-protein food is actually dangerous, as the body is typically in either one of two states: growth or cell repair. During the growth phase (triggered typically by animal protein), the human body gets stronger. However, cell damage is a part of aging and cells are only repaired during the repair phase. Digesting animal protein each day will therefore hinder the body to enter the repair phase. Consequently, we may age must faster or even get devastating illnesses.

Lessons Learned: The book provides a great perspective on a diet that can trigger the repair phase more often. Ideally, you also fast a couple of days per moth. Very cool: during such a “fast” you can actually eat quite a lot; you only need to eat the right things and avoid some other ingredients! If you are concerned with longevity, I highly recommend this book.

Lesson #7: If you want to age healthy and live longer, concentrate on the right ingredients and apply a fast-mimicking diet for 5 days each month. You owe it to your family to live long and strong.

#5 Becoming a Supple Leopard and Ready to Run

Ok, I cheated a bit. These are actually two different books but let’s assume that this is only one book 😉

During my “lifting career”, I encountered a few injuries, mostly stemming from my back and neck. Needless to say, I found stretching and mobility to be incredible boring and so I didn’t do it. After the pain got worse and impacted my performance, I was looing for solutions and (by online advice) found “Becoming a Supple leopard”. Kelly Starret is a Doctor of Physical Therapy and his books provide incredible information on how mobilize your body, eliminating pain with black rolls, and triggering regeneration in general.

Whereas Becoming a Supple leopard is dedicated to lifting, Ready to Run is dedicated to Runners. Runners often face very different and dangerous scenarios, such as having very bad form in long endurance events. Lifting mostly leads to ad-hoc injuries, but endurance sports typically wears the body out over time. Both books help to prevent damaging the body by showing the right exercises.

Lessons Learned: There are too many lessons to be learned here, so I will only stick with the one that is most important: get the right gear and plan your stretching- etc. sessions like real training sessions. If you want to become a world-class athlete, do it. If you want to increase your performance as an amateur, do it. If you simply train regularly, just do it. It is one thing to become stronger, but you also want to be flexible (or supple like a leopard ;)), and you don’t want to get injured.

Lesson #8: Develop a stretching routine similar to a physical training routine and stick to it. Primarily concentrate on your weaknesses. I recommend half-an-hour sessions four times a week. More, if you feel pain and tightness.

#6 Mindset – Changing the Way you Think to Fulfil your Potential

This is one of the most important books to recommend. Carol Dweck adresses the crucial difference between the fixed and growth mindset.

The fixed mindset tells you that what you can achieve and learn is not under your control. What you are able to do is determined by either genetics or your upbringing, which is unchangeable by now. The fixed mindset is the ultimate excuse to not even try or to give up early, as there is no point in pushing. Some examples are:

• “I am not a good writer, so aspiring a career as an author is pointless.”
• “I am not made for running my own business, as I lack the social skills to lead people.”
• “I am afraid of (and bad at) public speaking, so I cannot inspire people through speeches or bring my message across.”
• …

In contrast, the growth mindset tells you that anything and everything can be learned! Mistakes are unavoidable and part of the way to mastery of any skill. Instead of blaming oneself or others, or seeking excuses, challenges must be embraced and success will certainly follow. You mindset ultimately decides whether you will be successful or not.

Lessons Learned: The growth mindset is real and empirically validated. There is no question about it that certain things are physically impossible (not everyone can become a world-class athlete in every sport due to genetics), but almost anything that relies on cognitive abilities can be mastered through effort and deliberate practice. One needs to embrace failure in order to push through.

Lesson #9: Everybody has a fixed mindset in some areas that can be recognized. Important is that a fixed mindset can be overcome and a growth mindset can be acquired.

Lesson #10: Apply the growth mindset daily to remind you that almost all of your beliefs about yourself are unnecessary limiting. At the same time, know your limits and try to push the boundaries deliberately.

#7 Into the Magic Shop

This book is one of the most inspiring ones I have ever read. It was heart-opening and emotional touching. It leaves you with a sense that everybody of us has a lot of control no matter the circumstances. I almost finished it in one go.

Although the subtext almost promises neurosurgical scientific facts or rational medical explanations, this is far from the truth. James R. Doty tells you about his life story and his hard journey of becoming a renowned neurosurgeon. His starting place, however, was not one that could be labeled as “privileged”. His father was an alcoholic and his mother suffered from chronic depression. Domestic violence also played a big role. Needless to say that this embodies a recipe for a downward spiral of a young adult’s life.

One day, around age six or seven, he visited the Cacturs Rabbit Magic Shop and met Ruth, who – in hindsight – can be considered the single most important person he ever met. She offered to teach him the “best magic trick in the world. A trick that can give you anything you want in life“. Totally hooked, he agrees and Ruth goes on to teach him the very essence of mindfulness. Essentially, meditation is used as a technique to get control back over your emotions and your mind. In my opinion, mindfulness is the foundation for good mental health, and this book is very inspiring in this regard.

Lessons Learned: The first quote that stood out to me (and that resonated with many people online I think) was the following:

And until one is truly kind to oneself, giving love and kindness to others is impossible

This quotes hits home. In my opinion, even if you think that you truly love someone, it is almost impossible to do so unless you love yourself. If you don’t love yourself enough, you only can give love to others for your own sake or to feel better about yourself. This leads to many poor decisions in life.

Lesson #11: First, try to love yourself enough. Only then, aim at giving love to others.

The second lesson I want to highlight is the important of mindfulness and that it needs daily practice. It is important to have stable emotions most of the time in order to be strong for others. It is also Ok to feel sad and be angry at times, but this should get in the way of your life goals.

Lesson #12: Try to practice mindfulness daily, ideally through meditation.

Fun fact: The music group Bangtan Sonyeondan (better known as BTS) has a song called “Magic Shop” on their third studio album Love Yourself 轉 Tear, released in 2018. The song was created by the youngest member Jungkook and is dedicated to their fan base. It incorporates the psychological theme of the book in order to comfort everybody who needs to hear it. I admit that this is one of my favorite songs ever (the production is superb!). Here is a live performance of the song.

Summary of Lessons Learned

• Lesson #1: First, try to love yourself enough. Only then, aim at giving love to others.
• Lesson #2: Try to practice mindfulness daily, ideally through meditation.
• Lesson #3: When you are about to quit, stay the course und push a bit further each time. This is callousing your mind, as Goggins like to call it. Its practicing your mind to endure more.
• Lesson #4: Life is full of hardships and will often be unfair. Stick with it and still keep pushing. Don’t ask “why me?”. The grind is what matters in the long run. Life is a marathon, not a sprint.
• Lesson #5: When your mind is telling you that it cannot go any further and you are about to get this feeling that the current situation is unbearable anymore, this is probably close to 40% of your true potential. You reach the remaining 60% by shutting up your inner voice and endure some pain.
• Lesson #6: Your past does not determine your future. Even if bad experiences were formed in your childhood, you can change them now, in the present!
• Lesson #7: If you want to age healthy and live longer, concentrate on the right ingredients and apply a fast-mimicking diet for 5 days each month. You owe it to your family to live long and strong.
• Lesson #8: Develop a stretching routine similar to a physical training routine and stick to it. Primarily concentrate on your weaknesses. I recommend half-an-hour sessions four times a week. More, if you feel pain and tightness.
• Lesson #9: Everybody has a fixed mindset in some areas that can be recognized. Important is that a fixed mindset can be overcome and a growth mindset can be acquired.
• Lesson #10: Apply the growth mindset daily to remind you that almost all of your beliefs about yourself are unnecessary limiting. At the same time, know your limits and try to push the boundaries deliberately.
• Lesson #11: First, try to love yourself enough. Only then, aim at giving love to others.
• Lesson #12: Try to practice mindfulness daily, ideally through meditation.